Does it really even matter?
by kuroxfye
Summary: After struggles Fye comes to conclusions about what must be done that no one can help him with.KuroxFye pairing. FINISHED!
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Does it really matter?**

**Author: .KuroxFye.**

**Rating: T**

**Warning: might contain spoilers later… this chapter is spoiler free though.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Tsubasa or any of it's characters.**

**Overlook: the fact that Kurogane actually does know what snow is.**

**- Does it really matter?**

Fye couldn't sleep, it had been a good few hours since the group had arrived in this new world… At first Fye could have sworn they had landed in his own world but of coarse he didn't lead on or tell anyone. It wasn't until about an hour later that he started to notice real differences among the similarities, though it was cold, lifeless and undoubtedly had the essence of magic about it there were also massive land forms or rock that he had never seen before. Fye, deciding that changes this big couldn't have been made so quickly and concluded that this was not his world.

Once again he was placed in a room with Kuro puu, he and the other resided in a small cabin like shelter for the night, Kuro tan seemed to have fallen asleep amazingly fast for someone who spent all time before night complaining about the cold snow and how he'd never get use to it. The whole scene was hilarious… the ninja had finally met his match…

_Flashback_

_Makona had managed to aim the group of travelers perfectly for a pile of snow, Kuogane (being un prepared and heavy) fell straight threw the snow, he was covered in the pile of white fluff… on top of him landed Sayoran and Sakura who simple seemed pleased that they themselves hadn't directly hit the cold pile, but they climbed off after realizing who they had landed on. Fye however managed to miss the pile… no one knew how, even Makona had landed in the pile but none the less the mage was standing next to the heap dry and warm in his over sized excuse for a coat._

_Kurogane climbed to his feat shivering "What the hell?" he examined his cloth and noted the white addition. "What is this stuff?" he grumbled while trying to brush it off._

"_That'd be snow kuro puu" Fye gave the tall and confused man a side smile almost teasing the man as if the answer was simple._

"_Snow! Snow!" Makona added while jumping up onto Kuorgane's head._

_The ninja's eyes glowed fire red "I'm going to kill you"_

"_Ohh Kuro wan wan don't be so mean to Mako chan" and without thinking he had already fired a snowball straight for the man. _

_Kurogane reacted out of the corner of his eye to the small ball of fluff headed for his face, he secured his hand on the hilt of his sword ready to attack… when the 'thing' was close enough to kill he would strike._

_A big flash of light is all the others saw, Sayoran and Sakura simple watched with a blank and sympathetic look on their faces… they lived in a desert world and even they knew what snow was._

_The flash of light had cleared and kurogane looked around for remains. "hn, looks like that thing was to weak for me to have even bothered using strength on… there aren't even remains left." The tanned man had a victorious look on his face like he had just proved his mastered strength. _

_Fye couldn't contain it any longer, the mage laughed… that man, and he just looks so serious about this._

"_What are you laughing at?" kurogane asked while still in his glory._

"_it's snow… it's soft frozen water, it's fluffy and harmless and you attacked it." By the end of that sentence Fye could hear his words beginning to crack as he tried not to laugh more. "See kuro muu?" he said while holding out a handful of the stuff and watched it melt against the heat of his hand._

_Sayoran and Sakura now were even giggling at him._

_Kurogane desperately tried to come up with an excuse but had little luck, embarrassed he simply turned his back and said "lets go."_

"_ohhhh Kuro tan's blushing!" Fye teased him from behind._

"_That's it! You're gone!" and the man headed straight for the mage with angry written all over him._

_Fye had done this on purpose… seeing kuro chan's reaction to snow only left the blond man with another question, how would kuro puu deal with ice? Fye quickly moved across the small ice patch near by, Fye was totally adjusted to this climate and had no problems moving around the slippery terrain._

_However when the gruff man hit the patch he fell and slid across the span, only to find himself stuck in another snow pile. He just couldn't win._

_After a while of exchanging insults and backhanded comments (mainly coming from kurogane) the group finally moved on, Sayoran realized that the sun was almost down and they should find shelter quickly… the whole way there kurogane repetitively mumbled angrily about everything and everyone._

_End flashback_

Re thinking the whole thing brought a slight but real smile to his face but he was quickly hit with more troubling thoughts. This may not be his world but it was certainly making him think, making him think of things he would rather forget. He looked over at the sleeping man and thought 'if he wakes up now I'll never hear the end of this'. His mask was non existent at the moment; no one was awake to notice so why even bother… none the less he decided that being outside would be a better decision, that way even if they did wake he would still be out of sight.

Fye quietly moved threw the open door and headed outside, tugging the strings on each side of his coat to warm himself, he started to trail off in thought. Staring into the dark open sky he wondered.

'_Is this all even worth it, so many things I left behind… but I had to!' his thoughts paused as he reviewed that in caution 'no… that's wrong I didn't have to leave I wanted to, I left them all to die! I caused their pain… not Him ... it was… it was all me.'_

_Fye could feel his eyes swelling up with tears but he refused to let himself cry, all those people his mother, father, brothers, Ashura ou and so many others… were thrown away by him… it was all him, he couldn't blame it on anyone else. And what killed him the most inside was knowing that it was fixable, if only he had courage, if only he were willing to face the past… but he wasn't. In truth, he was a coward, and willing to admit it. He disgusted himself… everything he did had a reason behind it but if he had only dealt with it differently everything could have been avoided. Everyone could have been saved._

**Well, there's a first chapter for you… This is my first fanfic. That I'm actually going to post so please review and tell me if you want the rest because I have the next 2 chapters completed but I'd like to know what you all think first… so maybe I'll make some changes.**

**- Kuroxfye**


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: Does it really matter?**

**Author: .KuroxFye.**

**Rating: T**

**Warning: I've read pretty far so spoilers might come up at some point I'm not sure if I'll include them yet.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Tsubasa or any of it's characters.**

Fye steadily stared into space with heavy thought… he didn't even realize when kurogane had walked right up next to him in confusion.

Kurogane first stared at the thin man, it wasn't often that he seen Fye without a fake smile plastered on his face, he could even see the beginning of tears to form in his eyes… 'What could have happened?' the ninja pondered for a while. 'He doesn't even seem aware of my presence… he may be an idiot but he's still alert on most occasions.'

He decided to ask… because simply staring at the man wouldn't do either of them any good. Kurogane moved a little forward and placed his hand on Fye's left shoulder which obviously startled him.

Fye turned quickly reacting the hand's sudden appearance but then just seen Kurogane, it took him a second to realize his guard was down but within seconds the smile started to set itself back into place as if nothing had happened.

"Kuro muu! You scared me" he laughed…"how long have you been standing there?" his head gave a slight tilt to the side… as if it were a new addition to the mask but it still looked so fake to kurogane.

"Drop it" Kurogane gave an angry sigh "who do you think you're fooling?" his tone was low as always but this time it had a hint of something Fye himself couldn't place, not that he was actually trying though.

Fye looked at him for a few seconds before giving up, his smile dropped as did his head and he fixated his glair at the ground below. "What else am I supposed to do?"

"What's that supposed to mean… what are you talking about" He sounded as if he had given up the games… he spoke slowly and thoughtfully as if he was taking in every word being spoken. He had never seen the mage like this and for the mean time he wasn't about to miss anything important.

"Everything" Fye spoke shamefully "right now, for me. 'what else am I supposed to do'…those words fit everything"

Kurogane wasn't going to try to make sense of it just yet… because he hadn't really discovered anything. "well, what else _CAN _you do?"

Fye's eyes widened with those words… he knew the answers he knew what he could do to fix things… but he also knew what he didn't want to do.

"There are many things I _could _do… but they all just seem so hard." His smile flickered again at the end of that sentence… as if it were instinct.

Kurogane was tired "So you won't do something simply because it might be hard? … well you're either really lazy or really weak, pick one." Kuro tan smirked as if he was amused at what he had just said.

"I'm neither" Fye's thoughts slowly came into place. "It's more like I'm a coward."

"your not going to explain that to me are you?" he sighed and threw his head back to stare at the stars.

"Probably not… well at least not now." Fye was about to kill the conversation because it was making him nervous but then he realized… If anyone was fit to give him advice at this point it would be him, the tall man next to him had been threw enough to have some worth while answers, so he asked. "Kuro muu, lets say that you did something terrible… something that effected everyone you cared for and you yourself. After this mistake your life was of value to everyone either then yourself. Would you flee for your life or would you at least try to set things back into balance at high risk of your life?"

The warrior was taken back at the question… it was in such detail but still didn't reveal anything about the dumb mage that he wanted to know. He looked at the blond who was currently gazing into his eyes with anticipation of an answer. "I would stay… staying is the noble thing to do."

Fye knew it… he had no doubt in his mind that, that was to be the answer but he wished it weren't, that small flicker of hope in him wished that Kurogane would have said that running was the best option but who was he kidding. Only he himself could find a way to justify running away from all his fears.

"I've had enough for tonight kuro puu I'll see you in the morning" Fye trailed back indoors and a decision was made in the instant his head hit the pillow, he was going back whether he wanted to or not, now he only had to choose when.

Kurogane still stood outside, he could see his breath form into mist in front of his face. He wondered now more then ever what was being hidden by that damn man, in truth he wanted to know every little detail but he had to much respect for that. He couldn't simply pry into someone's life like that.

A shooting star passed on over head and kurogane looked at it hopefully. A silent wish he had just made to know what was going on. He didn't believe in fairy tales or that wishes like such actually came true, but he also didn't believe that the mage was ever going to tell him what was wrong so who not lump two disbelief's together and hope for the best. His eyes narrowed and his expression dropped as if he just realized how childish he must look wishing upon a star. He turned in and followed Fye's foot prints back into the cabin. He didn't want to admit it but he was tired and sleep would do him good.

Positioned against the wall he laid his head back and slept almost instantly.

**If you want chapter 3 review… and constructive criticism is always helpful.**

**And yes I do know I'm horrible with spelling and such, that together with a keyboard creates giant problems for me. But I'm working at it.**

**- KuroxFye**


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: Does it really matter?**

**Author: .KuroxFye.**

**Rating: T**

**Warning: I've read pretty far so spoilers might come up at some point I'm not sure if I'll include them yet.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Tsubasa or any of its characters.**

- _Dreamer_

_This country was always cold, covered in ice regardless of the season but this child had to be outside on the coldest day of the year._

"_Hmm, that's some tolerance for weather your kid's got" joked an elderly woman watching the small child of 4 or 5 play in the snow outdoors. "Are you sure he'll be okay out there? I mean I nearly froze to death just walking over here this morning"_

"_He'll be fine" said a younger woman with confidence. "Weather never seemed to bother him, not even when he was a baby. Besides he is MY child." Her expression showed traces of how proud she really was of the child._

"_I guess… but Amela, that being so shouldn't you be a little more protective? Your other 2 sons were born 'normal' like their father, but this one is like you… what if our government found out? You're a woman so they didn't take you but he…" she was cut off in mid sentence._

"_It's useless to worry over such things, I'm not powerful enough to be considered 'dangerous' even if I were a man and him, being of only half my blood shouldn't even have my amount of power. I'm not worried the least."_

_The other woman smiled "well I do suppose mother knows best" and the conversation was left at that._

_Meanwhile outdoors there sat the boy covered in snow… anyone walking by would have thought this child happy, he had a whole lawn to play in for himself since there were no other children outside._

_That wasn't the reason no one else was there. He had no friends… he was set aside from 'normal' children but never fussed about it, he acted very mature for his age…never fussed or whined, he just WAS and nothing else to it… he didn't even use the little magic he had because he thought it might attract attention._

_The blond child looked lonely and sad but even so he continued to build a fort on snow and rocks. A smile crept onto his face and then…_

'What the hell was that?' kurogane wondered to himself waking up. 'Who was that… it looked familiar, and it was MY dream hell I should know!' This confused the man for quite a few moments before he looked up.

'That man', Kurogane's red eyes had met with an image of the sleeping mage. 'That smile, that aura… it was that dumb idiot, why the hell would I dream of'…it hit him, the wish! He had made a wish to see that but had he simply woken up to soon? Had it really worked? He'd only been awake for about 5 minuets and already his head hurt from confusion. Well there was nothing he could do or say about it now so he got up and headed down for breakfast.

"Good morning Kurogane san." Sayoran said watching the not so morning friendly ninja stomp into the kitchen area.

Kurogane looked back at the boy with a nod, he was quick to observe "where's the girl?" he looked around the small room and there were no traces that she had awoken yet.

"She's still asleep" a small smile brightened his expression. "After how hard she's been trying to help lately I didn't think it'd be right to wake her."

Kurogane gasped and an angry expression crept onto his face… he now had his 'I'm going to kill something' face on. Sayoran looked curiously at the man and observed his rapidly changing mood.

"Kurogane san, what are you…" he was cut off

"Dumb manju bun! Get the hell out of there!" he hissed while pulling an ohh so pleased Mokona out of his cloak by the ears. "Kuro puppy's scary!" the small rabbit like creature squealed.

Before kurogane could snap back he found himself with the likes of yet another idiot.

"Kuro wan wan" a queer sound came from behind the ninja. "Stop flirting with Moko chan and just ask him out already." a fiendish grin came about the wizard face as he anticipated what the reply would be.

Kurogane's expression dropped. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY?" though he said those words threw gritting his teeth they still managed to come out as if he were yelling.

"you know what I said" that fake smile was in it's full glory.

Meanwhile, discarding the common events that often just caused background noise Sayoran handed Mokona a biscuit. "Mokona, are there any feathers in this world?"

"one second" the ball of while closed it's eyes and started to hum. "... yes there is one… it's faint but it is here"

The background noise seemed to have come to a halt. "Great" the bigger man sighed. "looks like we're going to be stuck in the god forsaken ice hole for a while."

"Aww, kuro muu don't worry, I'll keep you warm" and there was a short silence.

Kurogane wondered if the mage was trying his absolute best to get on his nerves this morning. He was about to call the man an idiot but he first started to feel faint, what was wrong with him? He wasn't tired but…

"Kurogane san?" Sayoran towered over the unconscious guard.

Fye knelt down next to him and checked for a pulse and breathing. "He just fainted, but that's odd… Sayoran kun can you think of any reason for this to have happened… he seemed normal to me."

"No, he also looked fine when I saw him." Concern was written all over the boy's face. Kurogane was strong, Kurogane was a fighter, Kurogane was possibly the toughest man he had ever met… and he just FAINTED?

Fye noted the boy's concern. "I'm sure it's nothing Sayoran kun… right now we should let him rest."

"leave him on the floor?" Mokona questioned.

"Of coarse not." Fye smiled but was obviously concerned as well. "We'll have to move him to a bed."

"Isn't he to heavy for Fye?" the white creature was still confused.

"No, I think I can manage one flight of stairs… it shouldn't be too hard" the smile sat crookedly upon his face and he moved his limbs under the limp man and picked him up.

It looked very odd for Fye to be holding him. Fye himself probably weighed little more then just half Kurogane's weight… from Sayoran and Mokona's point of view it looked almost impossible for this to have worked but the wizard seemed confident so it was left at that.

Fye moved Kurogane up the stairs, wobbling occasionally but never falling. He reached the room and laid kuro chi on the bed, what could have happened… with no one in sight aside from kuro tan Fye let the mask drop… he didn't want to show it in front of the kid but he was in full concern at the moment.

Fye had planned to leave after they found this feather, back to his own world, back to his problems but the sight of his possibly sick companion pulled strings. If Kuro muu was sick then he couldn't possibly leave yet… not yet.

**Third chapter down, I had a lot of problems with this one…it changed at least 6 times before I was happy with it.**

**Also thank you whoever told me I was spelling Mokona's name wrong. I'll make sure not to mess it up in future chapters.**

**So remember, if you want more please review because well no reviews would obviously mean no one's enjoying this and there for I'm just wasting time **

**- KuroxFye**


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: Does it really matter?**

**Author: .KuroxFye.**

**Rating: T**

**Warning: I've read pretty far so spoilers might come up at some point I'm not sure if I'll include them yet.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Tsubasa or any of its characters.**

Fye closed his eyes and recalled as many memories as he could of the recent Kurogane, anything out of the normal, and anything that might explain what had happened… But no matter how much he dwelled on the subject nothing came into focus. The only difference he had detected had been last night, when Kurogane seemed concerned. That itself was hardly reason to faint though.

Well whatever had caused it had obviously already taken its toll, Fye could think of nothing better to do then sit with the ninja and await his awakening. He wondered how Kuro chi might react when he heard he had fainted, Fye imagined it in his own slightly twisted way and smiled sadly…'Kuro tan…_please_ wake up…'

- _A dream continued_

"_Hey! Over this way!" there was a shout coming from around the ally corner. "I found someone."_

"_Is this something worth our while… or just another one of your false alarms?" a man in uniform walked towards the other voice._

"_No, no this is defiantly one you'll want to look at." Both men now soon stood facing a cement wall with a passed out teenage boy leaned against it._

"_I see nothing special about him... he just looks pathetically wasted if you ask me." The second man spat at his slightly younger assistant._

_A smile jerked onto the young man's face. "look closer, there…on his neck, you can see some of what might be."_

"_What are you babbling about?" he leaned in to see what the other had noticed. Taken back in shock the man recognized the very end of a sacred tattoo creeping around the shoulder of the passed out lad. "Could it be... it can't be! Someone this young has never before been sealed like this, no one this young has ever had the power to need one. We must take him! Get him off the streets and under security as soon as possible, before he wakes up."_

_The older man looked as if he had just seen the devil himself, grabbing the passed out boy and throwing him over his shoulder he thought. 'let's pray he doesn't wake up'_

_The boy was covered in dirt; he was only of the age of maybe 15… 17 at the absolute most, his long blond bangs were tattered and his cloth looked as if they hadn't been changed in months._

_He was brought to the castle still un awaken and placed in a small cell, the bars cursed with a glowing magic and guards placed at each end of the long hall. It was here that the boy awoke. _

_Rubbing his head "Where am I?" he asked blankly without even realizing that there was no one there to ask. _

_He tried to recall, he was being chased by a couple of guards for stealing some fruit but he remembered getting away, he had lost them. But then why was he in a cell? Had they caught up again, he wondered and wrapped his mind around every possibility. But after sitting for a rest in the ally he couldn't remember anything, nothing._

"_Hello? Is anyone there?" He walked closely to the bars and yelled…"why am I here, who are you, what do you want?"_

_A dark and sinister voice seemed to appear from no were. "I think a better question is 'what are you?"_

Kurogane opened his eyes and lifted his palm in front of his face. 'What the hell…another weird dream?' His forehead was slightly sweating and he had

no recollection of how or when he had gone back to sleep… because he remembered waking up.

"Kuro pon? Are you okay?" he heard an irritatingly concerned voice coming from beside him.

"hn…" he replied as if that were a stupid question, of coarse he was alright, since when was sleeping a sign of illness?

After a few seconds of thought the dream's visions hit him and he jerked his head to look Fye in the eyes. "You… idiot, why were you thrown in a cell?" Kurogane still sounded like he might be dazed.

"Excuse me Kuro puu? I'm not sure I know what you're talking about." A smile grew on the wizard's face.

"You know damn well, when you we're younger… why were you…" his speech stopped and his thoughts trailed off. He seen the mage's expression and studied it up and down… the smile was there but it wasn't like all the others. Sure it was still fake but there was something else… almost as if he had been caught but was pleased about it.

"How did you know Kurogane?" the smile didn't even flicker… it was holding strong.

The large man knew something was defiantly wrong now, the idiot had used his FULL name… something must be terribly wrong for something like that to occur. It was funny, no matter how many times he had wished for his full name to be used… now that it had been he only wished that it hadn't.

"It was a vision, a dream I've been having, seeing things about you and your life." He hesitated to admit that. "I haven't actually seen that much… so fess up, what was with the cell?" his voice now sunken back into it regular tone.

Fye smiled… but his eyes told a whole different story. "Kuro muu, if you're seeing it for yourself then what need is…" his words were interrupted when Sakura entered the room.

"Kurogane san!" se said happily. "I'm so glad you're awake!" the princess ran to him and looked like she was resisting to the temptation to hug him.

Sayoran soon after walked in the door, "I just filled her in, she was very worried about you. Are you okay?" his gaze was fixed on kurogane.

"What? Why is everyone asking me that?" he said in a sigh as if he could care less what the answer was.

"You, you fainted… in the kitchen. Didn't Fye san tell you?" Sayoran looked oddly at him.

"I WHAT?"… His emotion changed from drowsy so confused and then very quickly to anger and embarrassment. His face displayed his emotion clear as day. "Why didn't you tell me sooner idiot" he looked to were Fye had been sitting but he wasn't there anymore… were did that skinny bastard run off to now?

**Remember, if you want more review wink wink**

**And also, regarding the dreams… they're all going to be in chopped blocks like that and not so flowing… you'll just have to trust that Fye will later fill in the gaps.**

**- KuroxFye**


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: Does it really matter?**

**Author: .KuroxFye.**

**Rating: T**

**Warning: I've read pretty far so spoilers might come up at some point I'm not sure if I'll include them.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Tsubasa or any of its characters.**

Why? After so many years he had spent placing mental blocks up… placing them so he wouldn't ever have to remember, so he'd never feel the pain again. Yet within a couple seconds talking with Kuro rin all the memories came back. He didn't understand why Kurogane would be having visions of his past, to be honest he really didn't care either. And what was for sure… he wasn't going to answer ANY of the man's questions.

Fye came in to recall his own memory …

"_Hello? Is anyone there?" He walked closely to the bars and yelled…"why am I here, who are you, what do you want?"_

_A dark and sinister voice seemed to appear from no were. "I think a better question is 'what are you?"_

"_My questions first! What am I doing here?"… he paused for a second "Answer me!"_

"_Hmm, you should know. Don't play dumb, with Your power it's amazing you've lived this long in the free world." That dark voice only moved closer._

_Fye had remembered his mother telling him something about this… in this country magic wasn't un heard of but it was un common, people who had magic were sealed away for protection of the general public. Women were left alone though… because woman there could become no more then healers._

_His heart gave a tug… mother always told me not to worry about this, she said I didn't have enough magic to be taken serious. But I knew she was wrong… my magic always surpassed hers. I had just never showed her… I didn't want her to worry, and even in her hour of death 2 years ago I refused to show her… I could have saved her, I should have saved her after all, the ones that killed her were actually coming for me._

_After that I was given this damn tattoo to hide my power, and even so look at me now. I've been caught anyways. All her worrying, all my efforts everything wasted. I landed just were I never wanted to be._

_Fye scoffed at the man. "It's not like I actually ever use my powers" Fye felt like he was about to vomit... this was all to much stress… he tried to hold his head high, he himself wasn't sure why he was trying to hide his fear but he did so anyways. "In fact even now I'm sure I could break out of this cell with my power… but I won't… without permission that is." The first of what was to be a long line of fake smiles appeared on the boys face with shear determination._

"_You've got an awfully high opinion of yourself for someone who lives on the streets." The dark figure finally moved out of the shadows.. it was… it was…_

"_A… Ashura o!" Fye gasped. His king, he had just talked down to his king seconds ago. 'Damn, why am I so dumb?' Now I'm cretin to be killed._

_The king looked over the magical being and made an offer. "You, you are powerful…perhaps the most powerful yet caught. You say you can get out of that cell which is cursed with the strongest magic available. If you prove yourself right here, right now and get out of the cell I'll hire you to work with royalty, you'll be respected for that magic you've been hiding." His face was smug… he was next thing to laughing he didn't seriously believe anyone had the power to escape that magical container._

_He had thought just a little too soon._

_Fye didn't even bother trying to protest, he had nothing left to lose and everything left to gain. He clapped his hands together and let a protective magic run threw his body. It almost made him glow as he took a few steps forward and with ease, simply walked threw the bars and stood in front of his shocked king._

_At first Ashura didn't know what to do, he hadn't been serious about the job offering because he was cretin that the task was impossible. But there he was…that fine featured boy stood in front of him._

_For some reason this spiked his anger. Ashura lifted his right hand and slashed Fye right across his face with a ring he had been wearing. "You're nothing! You worthless peasant!" he was more frustrated then anything…_

_Fye knew the king was just looking for a way to ease his frustration… but he wasn't about to let him have that glory… the gash on Fye's cheek healed with a small swirl of magic and then Fye smiled at his king._

Fye snapped back into reality… I guess that's were the big picture first came into play, thank god Kuro tan hadn't seen that far… because then he'd have more questions then ever.

There were so many things he needed to do at the moment. He needed to gather up the pieces of his shattered mask and put it together, he needed to go see Kuro chan and tell him that he was leaving soon. Over all he just needed to leave and get things over with.

He wanted to do it before his mind even had the change to doubt itself. He was going to die, that was unavoidable no matter what decision he made, either he went back and died by choice or he ran until he died by force.

Back in His world he knew what he planned to do, the only way everything could be prevented, he'd have to use all the magic he could gather and throw himself back in time… then kill off what started this whole mess… 'Himself'. It was the one and only way for everyone to be saved.

'Is it worth it?' he wondered… but that thought didn't last long. 'Right, my life isn't worth anything… so why not throw it away to save what is.' Hmm, Kurogane would be angry if he heard what I was going to do… I was going to tell him but maybe it's better that I don't. I'll tell him I'm leaving tonight… maybe if I'm lucky I'll get a good bye kiss. The man smiled a little and giggled on that thought.

Fye thought about how he would word his departure but eventually gave up. There was no light hearted way to tell them that he'd never see them again, that he'd never see Sakura's happy ending or Kurogane's world. He had finally found real friends but he couldn't stay. Not this time… not this last time.

"Fye san?" Sayoran had come to check on him… or find him, either way he was here now.

"Yes, Sayoran kun." Fye smile was perfect… sometimes he even amazed himself at how fast he could pull his act together.

"Fye san… is something wrong? You left very silently." The young boy's face wasn't exactly set on just one emotion… You could read several different emotions appearing at once. Concern, determination, sadness, and hope... 3 of the 4 were just how Sayoran carried himself but the concern was an interesting addition.

"Wrong? Well I would say that exactly." His gaze left the boy and he looked over at the wall. "Sayoran… I 'll be departing from you all soon." He didn't see any reason to hide this from the boy, if anything he could use the opportunity as a test run for how he would later tell Kuro rin, he imagined that would be a lot harder to do.

"What?" he looked utterly shocked… what had Fye san just said, how, why? He didn't detect any strange behavior from the man… nothing sudden but then why was he going to leave us? "Why… why are you leaving?" his expression started so calm into it's usual cool again, but didn't quite reach normal gain.

"There are some things I have to do. Things I should have taken care of in the first place." He felt almost as if he was being heroic, talking as if he was doing something noble when really he was just cleaning up the after mess of the things that should have been avoided in the first place. Yet again be began to laugh at himself… it was a sad laugh, it sounded like someone who had given up on everything. Fye had forgot Sayoran's presence for a second, and didn't put it past him to notice this sudden behavior so he quickly recovered.

"So… is Kuro sama alright?" he changed the subject hoping that the boy would go along with it… but no such luck charmed Fye today.

"Yes, he's fine, bye Fye san I think…"

"That's good" he cut him off… it came pretty naturally; he had gotten good at dodging subjects he didn't like. "I'm going to go rest for a while… I'll see you at super Sayoran chan" The smile grew ever wide with that last little nickname. He had never tried using one with Sayoran and figured that this being one of the last few conversations he'd have with him he might as well get a few ideas out. He did admit to himself though… the name didn't really fit Sayoran… only Kuro tan and Sakura chan cold pull off those names, and let's not forget Mokona.

Sayoran's face flushed with a slight blush after being addressed with that name. He actually had always wondered why Fye never used those names on him. Everyone else was pinned with those names by Fye but Sayoran was always set aside. Now that he had been given one he decided that 'kun' would do perfectly well.

"Well... alright Fye san I'll see you at super." The kid gave a nod and left it at that.

**That was a pretty Fye centric chapter ne?**

**I'm always worried that I'm going to mess this up or forget something really important so I have to re read the whole fic. Like 4 times a day and write down all the questions I'll have to eventually answer. It hurts my brain sometimes.**

**I'm literally writing things as they come to me… the first 2 chapters were planned and well from there on it was pure idea of the moment. --;;**

**So review, because like I said… Idea of the moment which mean I could randomly wrap the whole thing up in one chapter or I could stretch it out for like 20 chapters, little or no reviews means you'll get little or no story from me.**

**Thanks for reading**

**- KuroxFye**


	6. Chapter 6

**Title: Does it really matter?**

**Author: .KuroxFye.**

**Rating: T**

**Warning: SPOILERS! There I'm finally using them… spoilers for the most recent chapters of the manga! READ AT YOUR OWNE RISK!**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Tsubasa or any of its characters.**

**And, if you haven't read far enough cretin parts of this chapter will NOT make sense to you… you can try to make sense of them or ignore them if you don't know what's really going on… it's not that major for this story line but it's better if you do know what's going on.**

Fye moved to his room, the whole way there he wondered if Kurogane would still be in the bed… He hoped not, he was in no mood currently to explain anything and with that ninja… everything needed an explanation.

'Phew' Fye thought as he entered the room. 'It looks like Kuro rin's gone out again.' Fye found a place right near the window and sat down looking out at large tree that covered almost half the window itself.

'That tattoo' he started in his head. 'Turns out that having it removed was a hidden blessing.' Fye knew his magic well, that tattoo not only hid it but it also restricted a large amount of power, If he still had it, sending himself back to his world AND then fixing things would be impossible they would require more power then he had the ability to summon at once, without the marking possibilities were endless.

He remembered when he had first gotten the symbol placed on his back, he was only 11… That was strange in itself because normally no wizard had enough power to have a need for the marking until he was at his peak, Normal wizards peaked around their mid 30's, most of them never got the marking even then! As far as Fye knew only 2 men aside himself were using the same method and both of them were far beneath him, power wise at least, that would make him most powerful in the land.

11, age 11… that was only a couple months after his mother had died, his father and 2 brothers died long before even that. This left Fye with no home and no family… 'Destin to live the streets he told himself with a smile.'

An elderly man had given it to him… he himself was a formerly established wizard, held in captivity for many years before escaping and moving to the streets for cover. He had sensed _the_ great power in Fye… he told the young boy that if he continued like that people would die.

Fye had no reason to hide the fact that he himself knew he was made to destroy, so he went with the strange man, Fye recalled the man babbling in a strange tongue after he had pulled Fye into a small corner behind a crumbling building, all of a sudden his back burned and the man was dead.

The burning sensation didn't leave his body for at least a few months... Each second of those months was like living in an oven, especially the first few weeks, there was also a raw sting accompanied with the burn.

It wasn't until almost 8 years later that Fye had leant the truth behind that man from Ashura o, The old man had originally been taken prisoner but then was continually tormented by the royal guards and questioned by the former king, because he was the one with power to for see the next high mage but he couldn't ever bring the image into focus. As a result he spent most of his life there. With every new generation there are 2 beings born, the one with power enough to shake the earth and another born only to detect this power and bring it into the open.

Fye understood now, the old man probably couldn't see the person in his mind clearly because he hadn't been born yet, their timing was off by almost a generation itself. That's why all those years ago that man had told him that he was '_The_' power. It all made sense to him now.

"hmm" He let himself sigh… 'dwelling over the past so much in so little time, I wonder what will happen when I use my magic now… I had that tattoo for such a long time, in that country with all the books sure I used my magic but it was so minor, nothing would have come from that but this… well I'll just have to be very careful.'

He heard movement from down the stairs, big boots being kicked off and a jacket being pulled off, The sounds were to heavy for either of the kids… That meant Kurogane was back from wherever he had gone off to. Chances are he'd come straight to the room, well were else was he going to go? Fye made a quick decision that he'd rather not talk with Kuro chin quite yet and so he made a move for the room's door, he admitted to himself that it was quite childish to avoid someone like this… then again, when was he ever not childish?

Fye had just reached the door but too late, Kurogane was already there and heading into the room.

"You, where the hell did you go?" he was angry, well actually Kuro chi was always angry but this was a special kind of angry… reserved for especially annoying occasions.

"I've been here, why... was Kuro tan looking for me?" the words seemed innocent enough but the tone was questioning… damn, he was being teased again by the idiot.

"Yes, I still have questions for you." This was a mumble, he didn't want to pry… but he didn't like being left in the dark, _especially_ when he knew just a little part of the story.

Questions, no… Fye really didn't want to answer these questions; he didn't even care what they were. He also knew he wouldn't be able to stop the questions, with any luck maybe Kurogane would have problems wording his questions so that there were loop holes that he could use to avoid an actual answer. He did that a lot now that he actually thought about it, avoiding the subject… just the same as avoiding a person, or running away. He sighed, ' I suppose I'm the same all the way around.'

"Well go ahead and ask Kuro pii, but you should also know I'm leaving tonight so this is your last opportunity." He felt almost guilty for using that as a diversion, he was going to tell him anyways and well if he used it now maybe Kuro tan would forget his dumb questions and just be distracted by the current issue.

He sat there for a good few minuets just staring at the wizard, almost as if he were absorbing the information he had just gathered, though Fye hardly seen that as a reason for 5 minuets of questionable silence. Maybe this is where he could make an exit at peace, Kuro muu seemed distracted enough for him to simply slip out the door. But as he started to stand he heard it…

"Sit back down." The voice was low, slow and angry… the combination made Fye a little nervous but then just passed it off with a wave of the hand and said.

"Aww, why so serious Kuro min?" he sounded normal again, like an idiot again and he was proud of his recovery skills.

"Damn bastard! Even now that you've decided on something important you won't even be serious for a minute. You can't go back to your world… you'll die, and I'm sure as hell not going with you." He was frustrated, after going threw so much trouble to save this man's life he was already making a decision that would get himself killed. "Without my blood, you die! Don't you realize that by now?"

He was obviously referring to the deal made with the vampire twins, True, he is now a vampire but his magic had recovered somehow and in full with some extra editions from the vampire blood. His eye hadn't grown back though regrettably, it was still covered by a black patch.

"True… without your blood, I'll die." He gave up the jokes... what was he hiding? There was nothing left to cover up so long as he knew he'd never see these people ever again. That said, just because the smile dropped didn't mean his guard did… he still wasn't going to answer any of the questions. And by no means was he going to tell Kurogane that he would die in his world by choice LONG before he died of blood thirst.

"Kuro chin..." he started again in a hushed tone. "You were the one who told me… the one who said that if you had the chance to fix something you had broke you would fix it… because that is the noble thing to do. I can fix things, it might be late in the coming but I CAN fix things, I've decided I'm going to and chances are I'll never see any of you again."

Horror, anger, sadness… all those had mixed themselves together to form the perfect expression of hate that lie upon Kurogane's face, He was confused and angry.. his head was spinning. As if this wasn't enough to begin with he was now feeling light again.

Fye watched his Friend lose color in the face and then drop falling back onto the bed.

"He fainted again. Well at least I know what's causing that now… I guess it'll stop after the visions stop, that's normally how this sort of thing works. Maybe he'll be able to answer a couple of his own questions after this one." Fye was talking to himself, he pulled the second layer of covers over Kurogane's body and left him there in a forced sleep.

**AHH SPOILERS! Well some anyways.**

**Heh, I've had this story posted for all of what... 4 days? And already it has 6 chapters, I'm obsessed --;;**

**Also I'm SO SORRY! I've found so many typo's in the last couple chapters. And yes (to the person who commented on how I miss spelt supper.) I did mean supper, not 'super'.**

**Review if you want more, reviews make the story longer… seeing as I've already figured out 2 different ways I want it to end I could push it there quickly or extend the story with even more events. Your choice. **

**Thank you**

**- KuroxFye**


	7. Chapter 7

**Title: Does it really matter?**

**Author: .KuroxFye.**

**Rating: T**

**Warning: **

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Tsubasa or any of its characters.**

_- Faded memory, faded dream_

_What was happening…? Red! There was red everywhere. Blood…? IT WAS BLOOD… Hands were wiped off on an already stained blue shirt. 'Mother' The muffled cries seemed to come in slow motion and the sight... it was all so blurry he didn't know were he was going or who he was running to, soon finding his hand placed under a woman's head… holding it up for what might be it's last few breaths._

"_F… Fye?" the woman gagged a little on her own blood. She gasped and pulled me into her arms using the last of her strength._

_I wanted to cry I wanted to yell I wanted to kill the bastard who'd done this but I couldn't… I couldn't move, I was afraid and buried my head into her stomach bending over. I could feel my stomach twist into a knot, it hurt I needed to vomit… but I couldn't even do that now…_

"_r… rr…run child, o ... or they'll take you… too." Her words fell faint as the wind and her head lay in my hand heavier then it had seconds ago._

"_M...Mother?" The pain filled me even more… no this was NOT expectable… this could not happen… not because of me, Everything went dark as I stumbled to my feat… they weren't going to get away with this. Those bounty hunters… they could all die the beasts! The monsters! The soulless creatures WHY! WHY DID SHE HAVE TO DIE?_

_A surge of raw energy ran threw my body… I could feel it, starting from within my ribs and moving in a wave to my hands… It was at a point of no return and with an instant flash it was all gone._

_All gone… as in no life, no house, no unmarked land for miles. Cupping my face into my own small hands I fell to my knees and gave way to the tears. Others had died, not just Mother, not just 'Them'… people who just happened to be near by but I didn't care about them… I didn't care about me. I felt the same energy building again… this time I used my mind and focused the powers at myself hoping the jolt might stop my heart. No such luck, it just shot out of my body again… this time ensuring any life that had been spared was now in fact dead._

_Not bothering to stand I fell further to the ground and looked over cautiously… 'Not even remains' I thought to myself. 'She's completely gone.'_

Kurogane sat up abruptly this time… That was most defiantly the most realistic dream he experienced yet. And the most horrifying one. 'Had that really been threw fye's eyes?' What happened was a little bit of a mystery… the majority of the scene was blurred by tears he was actually seeing and feeling fall down his face. This whole thing only gave him more questions and he wanted answers now more then ever before and he wasn't going to let up until he got them.

Kurogane moved to stand and exit the room, he needed to finish his chat with the mage… he had almost completely forgotten that Fye was supposed to be leaving today but then the thought came back around. 'Great… I can't very well ask him to stay and bother him about his past at once… he'd find way to avoid every subject simply by switching to the other.' Kurogane hated when the wizard did that… it was a pretty common occurrence whether it was over something of importance or not. Kurogane found himself standing in the front door staring at the back of a very confused man. Kurogane thought that the only way to see Fye's real face had been to either scare the mask off or read what you could strait from his eyes, he only just now realized that from behind he also looked like a broken man.

"Oi, you…" His words came to an abrupt stop when the blond man turned to face him. Okay, this was a little scary… Fye was crying… tears ran from his eyes like blood and he wasn't even trying to hide it… Anger, concentration and sadness… he wasn't bawling or sulking like a child (how Kurogane imagined this man might cry.) It was all very controlled and he looked more angry and focused then sad… sadness was more of the after thought showing threw.

"I know what you saw… I know what you're going to ask, and I know I'm not going to answer." Fye was quiet, dark and completely in control. Kurogane wondered if this was what he was really like behind it all. But he had to set those thoughts aside for now there were important things he needed to ask this man… important conclusions that need be drawn.

"You're not going back to that world of yours." He choked a little. "Not… not without me!" what? What had he just said, kurogane thought to himself this was really odd, that's not what he was going to say… he sure as hell didn't want to play protector to the fool, all the same though… he didn't want to fool to die, so he didn't attempt to change his answer.

Fye was surprised… but not in the good sense, it looked more like fear… no maybe more like doubt. His expression told Kurogane everything he needed to know, The ninja was half ready to be the one being called stupid for once… he prepared to be yelled at and maybe even sent threw a wall… Hell, he didn't know what the magician was capable of and right now… the mage didn't really seem to care at all, no lies and nothing hidden.

"Yes… yes I am. You can**_ not _**come… you need to stay here… this is a home you need to find, a cretin princess who'll be waiting for you, I won't let you die by my side. It's not happening!" Fye's voice hinted that the sadness was now most dominate of the emotions.

'I won't let you die at my side' those words… they ran threw the gruff man's head, why was the mage so cretin that he would die if he tried to fight? Maybe he wasn't… maybe it was something else.

Kurogane's head was hit with a sharp pain and the flashbacks re surfaced… the blood the screaming, then some things he didn't remember seeing before at all… A tall blond man blown into pieces… another blond boy (obviously not fye) thrown into a wall so hard he exploded on impact.

Kurogane snapped back into reality once more and felt himself shaking… what the hell was that? He wasn't even asleep that time… they just came! But he looked at the slim man still in front of him, suddenly it made a little more sense. Everyone close to Fye had died within his presence… His mother and who he could only assume were Fye's father and brother… They were killed near him? No… this is much deeper. His eyes widened, his heart stopped for a few seconds no… they weren't killed near him, they were killed BY HIM! Accident or not Kurogane didn't know but he assumed that this had all been out of his control and it was indeed an accident. Kurogane also found himself adding another piece of the puzzle together when he thought the name Ashura o… sure in his vision Ashura had been cold and clearly was disgusted by Fye… but he decided based on other things he had heard from the mage that this 'Ashura' and him mush have been pretty close, so the only person Fye has left… he sealed with his own hands?

Fye paused and looked up and down Kurogane's face… almost like he was reading his mind, but he wasn't… he was just being dumb.

"You… you think that you'll kill me?" He said it calmly but it came out just a little frustrated, in his head he had put pieces of memory and fact together but even after that this was still for the most part a 'blind guess.'

"Kuro pon…" there was a few seconds of silence. "I **_Know_** I'll kill you…"

**Ahh, drama!**

**Sorry I was just a little sad when I wrote this… it shows eh?**

**Well, I'll try to cheer it up a little next chapter though I'm not promising anything XP**

**Read… review, you know what I want.**

**Thanks for reading**

**- KuroxFye**


	8. Chapter 8

**Title: Does it really matter?**

**Author: .KuroxFye.**

**Rating: T**

**Warning: little spoilers… nothing really in this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Tsubasa or any of its characters.**

'Kuro puu, I_ know _I'll kill you.' What was that supposed to mean, How could he possibly say something like that so calmly… so confidently so…everything he's not.

"Idiot, don't go saying things that make no sense! You're sure as hell NOT going to kill me, I wouldn't allow it." Actually in truth from what Kurogane had seen he knew very well that the mage could kill him, what good in a sword if you can't even get within cutting distance… but still he held with confidence, this man was broken, this man was twisted… but this man was a companion… no, a friend, maybe more Kurogane thought to himself but then cut his thought off at that.

"You also can't prove I won't kill you…" His eyes were filling with more water again. "I'm going, I'll go alone… without you, _I'll die… without you_." He couldn't stop it… though he had long given up on a smile because it was no were to be found but he still didn't want it to show this much, this was to much… too much and so he turned his back to the taller man for a second before turning back. His tears had stopped… he dried his face and proceeded to look concentrated as he had before.

"DROP IT!" Kurogane was furious now… he didn't realize it until seconds ago but this face… this serious face, it was also a mask… a fall back mask, for when the wizard was so hurt he couldn't pull out the smile. "If you're sad just cry already! Stop trying to hide from me!"

This new form of mask didn't flicker on and off like the other, this one held stronger… because if it had been a smile, with those words it would have fallen at least for an instant.

"I can't, you call this unnatural because I don't look how I feel, but it comes naturally because I've done it so long… there for this is natural"

Kurogane couldn't believe his eyes or ears, was he seriously trying to lighten the mood, the smile was growing back onto that face and he proceeded determined to let it shine in full glory… The wizard just seemed so oblivious… but Kurogane knew better.

Fye was having a hard time with this smile, he put forth every effort into it… everything to make it sparkle with it's ever lasting shine…. But he knew it was more sly then happy… he for the first time in years couldn't simply will the smile onto his pale features… it was broken.

Kurogane needed to get things back on subject before the blond decided to make a run for it. "Why, what makes you think you'll kill me?" He had seen the visions… but what made him so damn sure?

"Because, that's how I am Kuro tan… things break, things fall, things die… when I'm around no one ever lives for long, honestly I'm surprised that my presence in this group hasn't already lead to death." Eyes shaded by long bangs… If Kurogane didn't know better he would swear the mage was sadly laughing behind those words. "And even now, leaving… I'll be killing myself, being the cause of my own destruction."

"That's why I'm coming with you bastard! You keep omitting me from this little scenario of yours… but I'm coming, I'm not going to let you go back and die of starvation… if you're facing your past you should at least be around long enough to see the results!" His heart was pounding in his chest… his facial features stayed strait but the rest of his body felt so different, why did he care so much?

Fye couldn't argue with that… he knew Kurogane's intentions and he knew everything being said made sense… he'd have to tell Kuro pon the truth, the truth of what he planned to do. He didn't expect the ninja to except these words but this was the only way Fye could think of that would stop the ninja's constant thought over his '_condition'._

"_Kuro sama… I won't die from lack of your blood." _The words were cold, like ice.

"Of coarse you will idiot! You can only go little more then one week without it!" He wasn't going to let up… he didn't know what that man was thinking but he wasn't going to fall for any tricks now… not now.

"_And who ever said I'd be alive for that week?" _He really hoped Kurogane would catch the drift on his own, but he doubted this would be the end of his explanation.

"You'll die before… what exactly are you planning? You're just going to HAND YOUR SELF OVER AREN'T YOU?" He was angry… his words came out before his thought process had time to organize them.

"That's not it, I told you… I'm going back to fix things, If I handed myself over to Ashura o what good would that do anyone?" Fye dreaded having to explain what he really was going to do… he didn't even want to do it, never mind talk about it. Maybe if he was lucky Kurogane would simply forget more questions and proceed to simply yell at him in an angry state, yelling was okay… he was use to yelling, But again he realized there was very little chance of Kuro chan letting up now, now that he had gotten so far.

"Then what the Fuck do you plan to do?" a definite chord was struck inside the large man… just when he thought he may have figured another thing out it was pulled from right underneath him… 'What is he going to do' Kurogane wondered, with the power he suspected Fye had possibilities were a little endless; this would make guessing a very difficult task. "Just tell me already…"he let his voice soften just a little.

"It's… It's difficult to explain…"

"Try anyways!" He wasn't letting the answer get away from him now.

"I'll be going back… back to Seresu, once I'm there I'm going to use the rest of my power to throw myself back in time, 20 years to be exact. Then I'm going to kill my younger self, preventing the entire series of unfortunate events… preventing everything." He pondered over the last little bit for a while… it was blunt and to the point, something he was sure Kurogane would be able to make sense of. "An existence worth nothing thrown away to save the ones worth it all."

The ninja tried to speak… words wouldn't come to him… he was to lost in shock to force any words out. 'This can't be happening!'

Fye looked over the horizon at the setting sun and decided it was now or never.

"Tell Sakura chan I hope all the best for her… I'm not sure if I could face telling her good bye, Tell Syaoran kun I'm sorry for being of little help and that he'll have to have supper without me." The smile was back… and the mage was obviously being torn up inside but the smile had come back to him after all. Fye walked out a little further onto the deserted road were he'd have a little more space.

Kurogane was still frozen, a trained warrior… smart strong and ready for anything was thrown off by this… he wanted to yell but couldn't, he wanted to cut that man down but couldn't… He wanted for it all to stop… for it to stop now, but at the moment it was amazing enough that he simply managed not to fall to the ground beneath.

Fye lifted his hand and began marking the air around him with sharp glowing symbols that glow even more brightly against the dark After only a few moments the wizard was wrapped in a glowing pattern… then he was gone, it was out of his hands, Kurogane finally let his knee's give out and he fell to the cold ground.

"Damn…"

**I don't know who to following the next chapter (no, it's not over… though it could be couldn't it…)**

**Lets get you readers a little active in this part, In the next 1 or 2 chapters I'm either going to follow Fye or Kurogane around… whichever doesn't go first will be followed up in the end. **

**So when you comment (if you comment) be sure to tell me who's side you'd prefer seeing Fye's or Kurogane's because I'm torn in my deciding.**

**I'll wait for 5 comments before writing the next chapter.**

**Thanks for reading**

**- KuroxFye**


	9. Chapter 9

**Title: Does it really matter?**

**Author: .KuroxFye.**

**Rating: T**

**Warning: little spoilers… nothing really in this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Tsubasa or any of its characters.**

_Damn him to hell, damn that man and all his suffering… why wouldn't he let me help?_

Kurogane found himself free to move about again… surprise and shock were long gone, now the anger is what filled him most. Anger at the dumb mage, anger at himself for not being able to stop him and at the whole damn world for screwing up like this… surly this wasn't supposed to happen. Kurogane's fists pounded into the ground as he thought threw everything.

_He's going to die, he's going to fall and I won't be there to catch him, this time he won't even let me try._

His head spun. Not one, but thousands of individual thoughts ran threw his mind. Each seemed intent on being the loudest… He couldn't take the noise, the guilt, and the heartache he undeniably felt. There had to be something he could do, even if Fye had left without him…

_Something… something, there HAS TO BE SOMETHING! A way to get there… any way, I don't care how or by who. I'll do anything… I'd do ANYTHING!_

It only took him seconds to realize who he'd need to bargain with, the thought of that 'dimension bitch' made his whole body break out in a cold sweat… ohh how he hated her, but it needed to be done. He knew he should tell at least the kid before doing so, If neither Fye or himself told them what happened what were they to assume?

Angrily he climbed back to his feet and stared at the spot were Fye had last been seen, With a unique gleam in his eyes filled with what some might call fear he turned back to the cabin and started to head in.

He couldn't very well tell the kid while the princess was around… she'd cry, Kurogane couldn't deal with crying girls… he just couldn't… so he'd have to wait for the little princess to resign herself for the night.

He sat in a large chair in what could be considered the 'family' room, he laid his head back and could feel his temple starting to throb again. 'what now?' he wondered… he hadn't been over thinking anything, just the matter of how exactly he planned to get Fye back here in one piece. Then something hit him… something unlike the others… something he didn't want to see…

_A light… it's too bright! The images were fuzzy for what seemed like forever… but with a particularly bright flash things came into focus. It was suddenly clear, he had seen this before…the same young blond playing in the cold snow. Closer now looking at the boy you could clearly see tears filling the child's eyes. _

_What now? This was different… the child looked upward… the child was staring out past to what couldn't be seen, or who couldn't be seen. _

_It's all so chopped… all so rugged, the vision set in and out of focus again and the sun grew ever brighter. There was a second figure, next to Fye on the ground…eyes now straining to see couldn't… who was there?_

"_Hello" said a cheery voice._

_Instantly he was aware of who it was, the grown mage was talking to his own past…? Was that even possible?_

_A second much smaller voice shivered. "who…who are you?"_

"_I'm the end."_

_The light got bright, so bright you couldn't see what was happening…it was gone._

The ninja's crimson eyes jolted open… what happened to that memory? Kurogane was once again confused, but then again there wasn't anything about the whole ordeal that didn't confuse him… He tried to think, it was the same as it had been before… all the way up until the older him showed up... Then it was all gone. 'What could that possibly mean?'

He slowly started yet another puzzle in his head… there had to be a connecting piece, memory's don't just _change _like that for no rea… he was cut off in thought and he remembered, the mage had planned to throw himself back in time or something to those effects… and kill himself at the start! Was that what he had just see? Did he just see the end? Had it already happened? Or did he see the future?

Kurogane didn't know anymore but at any rate he needed to know and he needed to go there now! No waiting, no long goodbyes for all he knew the mage was already dead, he had already waited to long… now he needed to find that damn white thing and fast.

Jumping from the chair Kurogane ran full forward into the kitchen area were he knew the kids had been. And luckily they were still there. He felt funny doing this but…

"Oi… manjuu bun! Come over here for a second…" he tried to sound the least threatening as possible, the last thing he needed was for the white thing to get hostile.

Mokona jumped to Kurogane's shoulder and Kurogane walked back into the other room.

"Kuro puu?"

"I need to speak with the witch…"

**And as you've all picked I went with kurogane first.**

**Sorry, this chapter is MUCH shorter then the rest… I'll try and make the next one extra long then.**

**Ohh suspense… here's some questions to ponder until I post the next chapter.**

**Is Fye already dead?**

**What will Kurogane have to pay?**

**What exactly will Kurogane do or find out?**

**Actually I'm not sure of any of those answers because I'm just typing as I go so it won't be decided until I actually get there.**

**Thanks for reading (sorry for the shortness again)**

**- KuroxFye**


	10. Chapter 10

**Title: Does it really matter?**

**Author: .KuroxFye.**

**Rating: T**

**Warning: little spoilers… nothing really in this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Tsubasa or any of its characters.**

"Yuuko… Why Kurogane?" Mokona questioned him in a worried sort.

"Just let me speak with her, you'll know soon enough." He was actually working really hard to keep his tone down and it was really beginning to strain…. He was too distracted to stay calm much longer.

Mokona looked up at him all knowingly and squinted his eyes even more so then he already was. The jewel on his forehead began to glow a bright red before the witch appeared on a screen no more then 5 feet away from them.

"Ahh Mokona, to what do I owe the pleasure?" Well, she was her usual self and it looked as if she had just gotten back from somewhere because she was removing a large black coat.

"Kurogane san says he wants to speak with Yuuko." Mokona's voice hadn't changed, It was still in that whiney and full of questions. The white creature shifter it's eyes to look up at Kurogane.

"Hn, I need your help with something." Ohh how he loathed asking her for help, but for Fye… he'd have to get around this.

She looked at him and suddenly became very still, her gaze lowered and he voice deepened. "So… it finally happened." She knew… she knew very well. "He's finally gone back, well this is how hitsuzen has dealt its cards… it's nothing that should be messed with." There wasn't even a hint of emotion in that, either she _really _didn't care or she was just really good at hiding things because that sounded flat which happened to really piss Kurogane off.

"Are you telling me you won't fucking help?" Damn! What was he supposed to do, his brow curved and frustrated and his hand clenched into a fist near the point of drawing blood.

"No, a wish is a wish… so long as an equal price is paid you may wish for whatever you like." Her voice grew darker. "However I do warn you, this was the path Fye chose for himself… anything you do now is held within paper thin boundaries. If you slip up even the slightest bit everything could be thrown out of balance… out of the way things are meant to be in that world. Do you still have that wish?"

"I do… send me to_ his_ world, I don't care what your price may be."

"Very well then. Kurogane the equal price for wanting to go to this world will be sacrificing you previous wish to go to your home world." A world for a world… which would mean more to him didn't matter, he wanted both so there for it is equal pay.

Never being able to go home?... 'Tomoeo' he thought…He' never see her again, he'd never see any of them again. So what did he care for more… his home, his friends (well ok he didn't really have friends) and his princess or that mage and his idiotic smiles…

He wasn't sure… he had never thought of the possibility of having to pay that… he was always simply heading home, but now where was he going… after this what would be his purpose? Still he decided.

"I'll except that." He had seen better days, this was the difference between life or death…though he longed to go home he couldn't possibly just let Fye's existence end, it meant to much to him.

He couldn't let this throw him off. He needed to be sharp and ready for anything this new world might throw at him and he needed to be stable if he even hoped to save the suicidal magician… he had to.

"Alright, I will only send you there. Once in the land of Celes you will be on your own, I'm even so kind as to take care of translating for you." She handed him a small gold chain. "It's magical, put it on your wrist or around your neck… it will serve as a translator."

He found men wearing jewelry to be somewhat disturbing, but he'd have to deal with it. Slowly he placed the golden chain around his neck and stood there blank faced and waiting for what was to happen.

A bright light covered his body until he was nothing but light, he could see nothing but light… then he was gone and found himself floating for a few moments before unwrapping from the light into a frozen plateau or sparkling snow and a dark star filled sky, above he could see a bridge and many stone wall houses leading up a winding path. At the top of the path there was a castle made of completely white marble, glowing stripes of blue filled the air in a pattern around the castle, 'it was a lovely sight' thought Kurogane would never admit to that thought.

Kurogane couldn't see why Fye always talked so darkly about this place, it seemed calm enough, but he did hate the cold, this was too cold but it defiantly wasn't the war zone he had thought it to be. It took him almost a half hour to get into the nearest cluster of houses. He had decided that the castle was probably the best place to start and to get there he had to walk threw many streets. It was now that he started to get an eerie feeling.

When he had walked threw the first few streets and seen no people or movement he thought nothing of it, perhaps they were simply busy or something, but when that continued threw the next 8 blocks Kurogane doubted there was life on this world at all. There was nothing.

Well, this only told him one thing… 'Fye was not a good indicator of his world.' This place was frozen, dead… there was nothing. And on the surface Fye was laughing, friendly and very much alive… but that's just the surface. Actually maybe this did define Fye, under the mask that is. He's always alone, his eyes frozen and his soul dead. Yes, at second thought… Fye was the perfect indicator of his surroundings.

He had determined that there was absolutely no life on this world by the time he had reached the castle entrance and it was then he realized that this had been a war zone in the recent past. Bodies… bodies everywhere, on the floor, on the tables, up the stairs… he had seen his share of dead people but this still sent a shiver up his spine, knowing that whatever had killed all these people Fye had survived.

The realization of something had finally hit him, Fye was obviously still alive… if he had already killed himself things would all be 'fixed' or so he said. Kurogane didn't imagine that this is what fixed meant so he steadily determined that there was still hope.

The castle was giant, that didn't help matters for Kurogane… to be honest he couldn't tell the difference between where he was and where he had already been. It all looked the same… white and curved, there wasn't and corners it was all curves which gave him the sickening sense that he had simply been walking in circles for ages. He had come up with a system of sorts for making his way around after a while; if he looked up he could see the center of that floating sign, if all he did was walk towards the middle of this god for saken maze he would eventually have to hit something.

Lucky for him this plan worked somewhat. He hadn't managed to find Fye yet thought right in the center of the castle was a small pool of water with a series of connected arches over it. Down at the bottom was a glass coffin which contained who Kurogane could only assume was this Ashura Fye often spoke of. It was also obvious that the mage had already been here, that white, blue and frankly gay looking coat was laying in a heap along the wall to this room. He thought of the possibility that, that might not be _his_ coat but then decided it probably was. No one else, not the dead bodies and not this Ashura had a coat on that was even similar to that white thing. Seems Fye must still be wearing his second coat though because it wasn't there.

He let his eyes lay upon the coat as he trailed in thought, were could that damn man be? Seems though he wouldn't have to look any further, he felt a presence enter the room with him. That could only be one person.

"Kuro tan? What are you doing here?" he zipped on the smile within seconds of Kurogane turning around. It was obvious he really didn't want the ninja there but there but he wasn't going to say that.

Looking the mage over head to toe he noticed something rather questionable. "Your arm… the sleeve… what happened?" The whole area along Fye's coat were his arm lay was stained with blood… blood was seeping threw the blue material.

"Ohh, that's nothing." He made effort to hide his arm behind his back. "Now tell me…what are you trying to do Kuro chu? You realize that if I want I could send you back to the previous world by simply raising my hand… If you force me to do so I will."

This man is disturbed, who the hell bleeds from the arm, plans to kill themselves, talks so seriously with such stupidity and still smiles? Only Fye could pull that off.

"You sure as hell better not! Not after what I had to pay to get here. I'm not just going to stand by and watch you die, I worked to hard to keep you alive to simply lose you now!" he could sense his voice becoming emotional in an unfamiliar way so he paused to collect himself. "Now, what happened to your arm." He was back in control of his tone and gazing at the arm trying to be hid.

Fye didn't speak for several moments… he let his emotions show threw as they changed. First came anger which progressed to sadness and finally regret. "You're a fool… you're a fool for coming, for caring, for believing you could stop this. I'll only hurt you if you stay and so it can not be allowed." He raised his hand as he had half threatened to do before and wind picked up speed around the two. "It can not be… because… because…" and in the lowest whisper he could manage. "_I love you_"

The world froze for that moment… What a hypocrite, he loves me… so he won't let me die! Yet he won't let me do the same, I'll never say those words which could be left unspoken but he should know! He should know how much I actually care by now! Damn him… Damn it all!

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?" How angry he was couldn't be placed with words. "It would hurt me a thousand times more then death knowing that you wouldn't even let me help you… you IDIOT!"

The wind stopped, It was clear the words had reached him… or maybe not? Fye's face looked flushed of all color and collapsed to the floor. The red stain on his arm had become considerably bigger and still he was smiling, trying to stand up.

"_Kuro sama, it's already to late for me to be saved…"_

**Ohh damn, I don't know what I'm going to do next… I typed myself into a mental block XP**

**So review please, tell me what you think… if you have any ideas please share.**

**Meanwhile I'll be pondering over the next chapter and how the hell I'm going to pick up because seriously there's like a wall here and I don't know what to do.**

**Thanks for reading**

**- KuroxFye**


	11. Chapter 11

**Title: Does it really matter?**

**Author: .KuroxFye.**

**Rating: T**

**Warning: little spoilers… nothing really in this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Tsubasa or any of its characters.**

"To late to save you? Stop acting like you're already dead!" He was furious with the idiot; every time he sees a way out… or a way to die he takes it. "Your arm… you're suffering from blood loss, we need to stop the bleeding." Kurogane walked towards the stumbling mage but stopped in his tracks caught in a frozen glare.

"No, It doesn't matter… In seconds I won't exist, this will have never happened. I need to get going; I only came back for that coat because I remember how _cold_ it was on _that _day." His eyes… there were no pupils in them, just light blue pools of nothingness.

He couldn't let a simple gaze stop him… and what the hell was with his logic, if he was planning to die what difference did the coat make? Ohh well that wasn't anything to be questioned now… now he had a more immediate question. "You, your arm… how did that happen? As far as I can tell you're the only thing alive in this ice box… that means you did it to yourself… why?"

"Because I don't have my staff." His words swayed in and out of breath and he fell over once more but proceeded to move forward. "I use to write my spells out with the staff, but now that I don't have it…" he was cut off.

"You wrote an incantation out in blood! How dumb are you? Why didn't you just use your finger like you have before… I know you can!"

"Because… blood is stronger."… "Besides, why would I worry about blood loss in this sort of condition? Kuro chu…" Kurogane looked up at the mention of his name. "I won't be able to send you back, if I plan to kill myself I won't have spare magic to send you back, I hope when time re sets itself you'll be sent back with it… without any memory of me but if not… I'm _sorry_."

How could he possibly care about that now… he was going to die but still he was thinking of someone else. Fye was now on a stumbling path back towards the room he had walked out of, his coat clenched in his hand, his eyes full of pain… and a smile on his face.

Kurogane made his way in front of the mage in an attempt to stop him.

"Please, just let me go… the blood will only hold it's power for so long, If I wait much longer this will _really_ be for nothing." Fye knew he could make him move… he didn't have the power to send him back to the last dimension, but hitting him with an energy blast was very possible… but without the tattoo or staff… he couldn't trust himself to not kill kurogane in the process… so he wouldn't. "Kuro pon… if you really care… you'll let me go."

"Not happening." Those were his only words and he over powered the wizard laying him down of the ground, he knew Fye wouldn't have the strength to fight back. He ripped a piece of his cloak and pulled up Fye's sleeve.

"You know… I'll never forgive you… if I live." He wanted for everything to be fixed… he now wanted to die, he wanted it to be as if he never existed… everyone would be happier, everyone would be alive. The only thing standing between him and that vision was this man.

Kurogane noticed Fye's skin lighten slightly to a white blue… then return to normal, he lids shot open again revealing frightened blue eyes…

"Not now… good god not now…" Fye's words dragged and his eyes filled with water.

"Not now what?" He finished tying the knot around Fye's arm hoping that might slow the bleeding. "What's going on now."

"H…he's awake… no I can't deal with this now… I just can't, too much, too much I need out." His body cringed and his fists were tight enough to draw blood.

He… Kurogane knew who he was talking about… he meant 'that' man, letting go of Fye's arm he stood and started towards the pool.

"n…no don't!" Fye once again forced himself to a half standing position still falling forward onto out stretched hands. "Move… move back, get away…" He had lost so many… he'd be damned he was going to lose Kurogane too.

Kurogane did as he was told… true, he knew nothing of this world or this Ashura. The water started to swirl and drain, Kurogane couldn't see inside the pool but there was a light shining from the inside of it.

"Back… behind me!" Fye was still struggling with his position; It hit Kurogane that Fye must also be exhausted from using such an amount of power in so little time… as if the blood loss wasn't enough. "Behind me… or you'll have no chance"

Kurogane once again did as he was told… though he didn't exactly plan to stay there. Once he seen what he was exactly up against he's make a move of his own. Kneeling behind Fye he stretched out his arm to help the mage up but was stopped when Fye raised his hand clearly meaning 'no'.

This was so strange… he was standing behind a man who couldn't even support his own body at the moment, at the same time he didn't know what else he could do.

Fye took a sharp painful breath at the sight of Ashura, his long black hair slithering about him wet with water. A streak of light ran across his narrow eyes and he was now fully risen out of the water.

His eyes met Fye's with rage, but Fye just looked at him in pain. Kurogane could no longer tell what Fye was thinking…the pain could have come from his current physical state or from the emotional stress, It was most likely a mixture of both.

"Ahh, Ashura o… you've awaken." Despite the feeling of being torn inside, Fye forced out the stability to speak that sentence with a confident tone, If you couldn't actually see the pain you wouldn't have known it was there.

The elegant man drifted towards Fye in an almost floating like motion. One in reach he held out his right hand and Fye flinched.

"_Don't you dare think I've forgotten…"_

**And I've hit ANOTHER mental block… o well I'll think of something, I always do.**

**And is it just me or did this chapter seem a little rushed, even after going over it several times I couldn't seem to make it much longer. Doom**

**Anyways, Review… I think the next 2 chapters will be the history of Ashura and Fye completely pieced together (I'll give them different chapter titles.) But I'm not sure about that yet so if you think that sounds like a good idea give me a thumbs up in your comment.**

**Thanks for reading**

**- KuroxFye**


	12. What goes up

**Title: Does it really matter?**

**Author: .KuroxFye.**

**Rating: T**

**Warning: … nothing really in this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Tsubasa or any of its characters.**

**Ohh, and you should know… this chapter picks up after the cell flashback were Ashura and Fye first meet… I think it's in chapter 5.**

_//What goes up… //_

_Flashback part 1_

Standing in the jail cell before his king Fye smiled with a tilt. It was a bitter sweet smile and doubled as a warning to what might lay beneath the façade.

As if it were even possible Ashura became even more frustrated with the blond, wishing so dearly to inflict various sorts of physical pain on him… but the king was far from stupid; he knew it wouldn't serve any purpose. Hell, if the cursed being had THIS much power maybe he should be working for the crown, better a friend now then an enemy later with this one.

"Hmm" Ashura huffed beneath his breath. "You've proven worthy… that should have been impossible. Gather your things and follow me." The jewel of his forehead shined in the light.

Fye's grin widened, was this really happening? He had expected to be ordered back into the cell, he knew the king wasn't serious about the job to begin with… you could see it in his telling eyes. But all the same now he was being taken? It didn't make any sense to him but whatever, like mentioned before: nothing to lose and all to gain.

"I have no things… I am what you see before you, nothing else."

"Very well then." Ashura turned slowly as if he didn't trust the wizard not to stoop to underhanded trickery, but for now he had to gain the trust of his new servant… trust that will need to be strong. Ashura walked down the long hall of cells leading Fye out into the open again, pointing to the castle Ashura ordered. "There, take us there."

Fye hesitated for a couple moments. 'What am I doing?!' the thought ran threw his head… why am I using magic, this is wrong, so wrong but I can't find a reason not to. Come to think of it why did I stop in the first place? No matter how hard he tried to find an answer nothing came to him, whatever the vow was made for he no longer remembered… or maybe just no longer cared. With a nod of the head Fye complied, a light magic formed around them and they were taken to the castle arriving right between the two front pillars.

Ashura o looked stunned and pleased at once. "You… are going to make a fine addition to the court so long as you continue to comply with what is asked of you."

"How could I not?" Another smile slid into place, this was also odd… Fye had never been one for smiles, especially forced ones but he was doing an awful lot of them today. "You are the king… you can order me to do anything."

He figured the smiles were probably just because it was the 'king' he was addressing… because who would be foolish enough to upset the king?

This is how all subjects should behave, Ashura thought to himself. His fingers weaved together as the thoughts filled his head. There are so many things that can be accomplished with this new magical addition, Celes will be in it's full. While Fye wore fake smiles Ashura's was defiantly sincere.

"I'll have the servants prepare a room, in the meantime please feel free to familiarize yourself with the castle. You will be living here for now on."

Ashura moved down the long hall stopping to talk to whom Fye decided must be a maid. Ashura pointed back towards Fye while explaining something to her, Fye guess he was just telling her to ready a room. After a minuet or so she hurried off further down the hall and the king slowly followed out of sight.

Fye couldn't believe his luck, within one day he had gone from street scum to living in the palace… it was like a fairy tale!

Despite his happiness though he was frustrated about why he didn't use his magic before, there was a reason… there had to be one, but what was it? It was confusing him to no end over why he couldn't fit together pieces of memory.

Absent mindedly he began to wander the castle amazed at every little detail. From the lovely art work to just the fact it was clean… everything amazed him.

………………………**Time**

Two years had passed since Fye was taken to the court. Since then he had managed to make quite a name for himself, he was not officially the 'high mage' and had say over very important matters, his power was what kept Celes safe… him being their only defense.

In the gapped time his relations with Ashura also became a little more intimate. No more then 4 months after he moved into the castle had he found himself gazing at Ashura in every spare moment. A month after that Ashura, as a surprise to Fye, had ended up making the first move. A light kiss was given and a silent moment exchanged, since that day they had been an un official couple… with love only to themselves, it was of no matter to anyone else.

Fye was very accustomed to how things here worked now; everyday he'd wake at around 9:00 and be at the table for breakfast by 9:30, after that he had about 15 minuets to make way to his post work area sort of room. It wasn't really a work area… more like a large busy room where he sat and watched over the activities in Celes threw his magical projections. When invading army's attacked he would leave, defeat and return, though those occasions were few and far between, since he became high mage neighboring lands leant not to intrude if they valued their life. After watching the activities during the day until about 8:00 pm he would pass the duty of night watch onto one of the lesser mages. He on some days was called on special business to create seals or spells for the king… that was the extent of his job. He would again eat supper very late and then head for bed, about once or twice a week he would meet with Ashura after the long day for numerous reasons.

Lately Fye had noticed his memory becoming even worse, for so long he had dwelled over why he didn't use magic before Ashura… not long after that he couldn't remember anything that happened before meeting Ashura, and now he couldn't even remember the day they had met. It was concerning the blond to say the least… but he concluded that he would need to tell the king of this realization, because what if there was something really wrong with him? He wouldn't trust himself if this became serious.

So that night he told him…

This night was one of the few where Ashura joined Fye in his late meal, though the king had already eaten he still wanted time with his wizard.

"Ashura…" Fye had brought their previous conversation to a halt with the seriousness in his tone.

With a turn uprising his head "What is it Fye?"

"I think… I think something might be wrong with me."

"hmm, like what? You seem perfect to me."

With a slight flush over his face Fye replied. "Well I'm glad you think so" he said with a lazy smile on his face, and then it turned back to the lower tone. "No, I for a while now have been noticing my memory of anything before you becoming hazy… and now even a little of my early memories WITH you are clouded… It's concerning me."

"Mmm, you just sound paranoid if you ask me." He quickly gathered his staff and stood. "Well I've had enough; I'm tired and hope you don't mind me running out like this. I'll see you tomorrow, night."

"G night" Fye answered lazily…. 'Paranoid?' he thought… ' I'd say lack of memory is cause for concern… it's almost like he didn't want to talk about it, he just ran off.'

'Then again, maybe I am just paranoid.'

**Ohh I'm so SORRY! I took forever to update, it because school finally started up (grumbles) and I have rugby after school… and I coach my little sister's basketball team… I have no time… PLEASE DON'T EAT ME!**

**Okay, this chapter won't make as much sense until you read the next… because Fye obviously starts to remember things eventually. Though I have no idea when the next will be up, I'll try and make it soon.**

**Heh, the next chapter will be called 'Must come down' it works ne?**

**Thanks for reading… reviews encourage me.**

**- KuroxFye**


	13. Must come down

**Title: Does it really matter?**

**Author: .KuroxFye.**

**Rating: T**

**Warning: … nothing really in this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Tsubasa or any of its characters.**

_//Must come down…//_

Fye left his suspicion at that, again, he knew better then to anger the king. They may be close… he doubted Ashura o would ever scold him for being curious but none the less he figured it better left alone.

Another 3 years had passed and he was now 22, for 22 years of age he was very well established… frankly Fye found loads of pleasure basking in the glory of his power, his lover and his status… everything went his way, except one thing. Years later and memory issues were still becoming worse, now he would forget even the most casual of things like what he did last week, or what he had eaten for lunch. Sometimes he would find himself heading somewhere but then not know why he was heading there or where he was going anymore. He knew he couldn't hide the problem much longer, but how he loathed admitting un perfection. He had even created a girl named Chi as his assistant, she would follow him and constantly remind him of important things so he wouldn't appear unable.

It was nerving, he didn't want to have this talk with Ashura. He himself disliked flaws but Ashura was on a whole new level of picky… Fye often found it funny how precise everything needed to be around him, it was a quirk that was distinctly 'Ashura'. Even though he found it cute with other things, when the king would point out kinks in Fye it was painful to listen to, though he supposed that was just part of any relationship, it's the comfort zone they had reached where words no longer needed to be watched. Still it hurt, and this would undoubtedly hurt as well… He figured Ashura would be kind though, after all they were in love.

This evening after duty shifts ended they were going out for dinner; both had been so busy that they hadn't seen each other for over 2 weeks; Fye now had something of importance to say so they made time. He couldn't decide whether he was anxious for it or dreaded it, possibly a mixture of both, if that were possible… still he carried out his work with a smile and watched the clock tick by.

9:00 pm and they met outside one on the finest restaurants in Celes, moved indoors and were seated by personal waiters.

Everything had been going fine, Fye found himself wondering if he even had the heart to tell Ashura of his problems… he didn't want to worry him, maybe the king had forgotten there was something to discuss… but he hoped too soon.

"Fye, this is such a nice place you've picked." He looked around at the well decorated room.

"Hmm, well don't thank me… I just asked around a little, I've heard they have the best chocolate cake, I plan to try some." Smile, such a bright smile… what was almost a real smile… funny how nothing looked real around the blond even when it was.

"I may try as well…" Ashura's voice trailed. "I believe there was a reason you asked me to come? You mentioned having something to discuss."

"Do I need a reason to ask my boyfriend on a date?" With a head tilt to the side one could mistake him for a dumb, bubbly puppy.

He sighed; he was getting a little too used to the game of cat and mouse after all these years. "Of coarse not, it's just I distinctly remember you saying you had something to tell me… I'd like to know."

"Well alright, though I don't want you to worry… I shouldn't even mention anything." 'Shit' Fye thought to himself… 'I'd give anything to not talk about this now… why'd I get myself into this?'

"Tell me…"

"You see, remember a long time ago I mentioned to you that my memory was flaky. You said I was just being paranoid and at that time I agreed with you, but it's un deniable now… I'm missing quite a few memories, I couldn't tell you what I did last week for the life of me, I'm not even sure if what I remember was last night was actually last night and not some other random night I remember. This isn't something I can ignore… I don't think it's best for Celes if I maintain my position, head mage with a mental block problem doesn't sound to promising." He tried to smile, he really did… but all he could do was prevent himself from frowning.

"Well of coarse!" Ashura exclaimed so matter of factually. "Fye… you're the most magical being I've ever met but your information is so limited, you should work on that."

"What are you talking about?"

"Hmm, you see that sacred tattoo you have there on your back… it is used to suppress strong magic correct?"

"Hai."

"Well think of it this way, that marking is only meant to seal powerful things, with you EVERYTHING is powerful. When you use your magic it activates the tattoo and suppression takes place. The more you use magic the more suppressed your mind will become. I didn't see it at first either but after a while I understood you were having mental difficulties. I'm still confident in you, so long as you follow my order I still wish you to hold your position."

Fye was shocked, how had the answer been so plain and simple… and he didn't notice, it made perfect sense. He was also happy Ashura seemed quite excepting of the stats.

"I understand now, maybe I'll try and cast a regaining memory spell… I'd still feel safer that way."

"Do what you think is best… though Fye I wasn't going to say anything but, we already had this same conversation only 2 months ago. You said the same thing and then forgot within the week."

"I did?" wow, this was worse then he had thought… though he wasn't really surprised, actually he half expected to hear something like that, it had been happening a lot with little things lately.

"Sorry, I'm going to excuse myself… I need to collect… what I can." With a re assuring smile he gracefully left the table and left for the castle.

I wonder how long I can be pulled along like this… what happens when I can't even remember things from seconds before?

… **_Time again_**

Two more years had passed and what Fye never wanted to happed had… he couldn't remember anything; he'd set something down, turn around and forget what it was he was doing. He couldn't start nor finish a task without someone to guide him through it step by step constantly telling him what it was he was doing.

He didn't have opinions or worries, he didn't have time to have any… by the time he could conjure up an opinion he'd forget what it was about. Literally a walking shell, he was the perfect dummy.

Worst part of it all was that he was in constant pain. Not to his knowledge of coarse, Ashura had taken to beating him… he was an imperfection and would be dealt with as such. He wouldn't remember how he was hurt within seconds anyways.

One of the second hand mages had taken notice of current events. He and Fye got along very well before the problems became so bad. His name was Koshumi and he had an idea for his long lost friend. He had spent about a month working on a magically cursed scroll of resistance… with any hope it would stop the memory loss, though he knew it would never actually give him his memory _back._

Koshumi had requested Fye's magic for one of his assignments; if this were to work he would need at least an hour of the former head mage to himself. So later in the day Fye was to be brought to his work area, no one would be there and so he could cast the scroll's enchantment upon the wizard.

So later that day a few house keepers lead Fye to the room, Koshumi requested their leave kindly and they did so… now it were only a matter of skill, ohh how he hoped he could do this…

Unrolling the scroll and placing in on the ground in front of him and Fye he began to chant.

"Orosoma shinbu kashi shota himburogoshi" he took a breath. "Mysari gonza tabushi dinzi."

There…. That was it, he would have to wait for results though, and this wasn't a very quickly done thing. So he sat and waited… watched the hollowness of Fye's eyes begin to mix color, something was happening though he wasn't sure if it were good or bad.

45 min. had passed, the enchantment was almost complete and He was showing tremendous results. Everything looked as if it were in order, within seconds the old mage would be back in control, though he wouldn't actually understand anything… but he'd remember from there on out at least.

And it was over, flashed of light simmered along Fye's skin, his eyes dulled back into their regular sky blue and he looked at Koshumi with confused features.

"Who are you?" those were the first words from his mouth that he would actually remember in so long.

With a nod of appreciation. "I am Koshumi Sashigure, second in line to be head mage of the Celes court."

"Th…then who am I?"

As he suspected, Fye didn't seem to know anything beyond typical information.

"You are Fye D. Flowright, former head mage of Celes and most powerful being in this land."

He was about to explain more but stopped when Fye gripped his head as if in immense pain… "Fye?"

His head hurt… so much, he couldn't make the pain go away, ohh why was there so much pain, what the hell was going on? He fell to his knees pushing down on the back of his head with both hands and he let out a long scream in pain, trying to release the pressure building up in the back of his mind. Little did he know what they would result in… it was too late, build up power he had no control over exploded from the thin body, whipping threw Celes in a bright blue light killing anything in it's path, it was beautiful he thought upon release, looking at it threw castle windows as it spread all the way along the land… it wasn't until after he realized everyone was dead.

He had just killed off an entire country, a world he knew nothing about, people he knew nothing about… except Koshumi whom was also killed on impact. At first he didn't know how to react, did he really care that a world full of strangers just died… or at least he thought they were all dead, it's not like he knew them anyways.

Dragged out of deep thought he looked up when someone else entered the room.

"Chi?" a petit blond looked at him dumbly.

"What…"

"What's wrong Fye?"

"You, how did you survive that? What's going on, what did I just do?"

"Chi does not know. But Chi is not a person so Chi can not die."

"Ohh is that so… then what exactly are you?"

"Chi was made from Fye, I don't know how though." She looked so cute, innocent, it made Fye feel shame for what he had just done… though the two shouldn't be connected at all.

"Made from me?"

"That's right."

He had more questions, but another person had entered the room… 'Jeeze' he thought to himself. 'Are all the survivors like drawn to me or something?'

Ashura's voice was dark, sinister, and murderous. "What did you do?!"

"I don't know." He waved it off with a non caring attitude… at the time he really didn't care. "Who are you?"

The king looked pain struck, how dare he forget who's in charge… how did this happen, who helped him? And why did he blow up the whole god damn country!?

"I am your king, and you my former friend just blew up our country!"

"Ohh, is that so, well you see I don't exactly remember anything from more then just a few moments ago, so you say that… for all I know it's a complete lie."

"It's not a lie you fool!" he snapped. "The only reason I survived was because of my own large amount of magic, It took all my protective magic just to keep myself safe."

"Dunno, you sound pretty suspicious to me." He teased… lord how could he be teasing at a time like this, it briefly reminded Ashura of the old Fye, but that thought was quickly taken from him.

"In honor of the fallen people, I will end your life here and now Fye, you can't get out of this… you'll have to except punishment and only hope the devil may go easy on your strained soul."

Fye felt like laughing, though he wasn't really sure why… it felt like a reflex maybe, whatever it was it came automatically. "You kill me? I'm not sure but for the strangest reason I don't think that's possible."

A cold breeze rushed threw the room and Fye's eyes looked somewhat sunken… as if he were relying on an auto pilot or something when he dodged the first attack made by his king.

"Is that really the best you can do? I thought you said you were the king."

He dodged attack after attack making no effort to strike back, Ashura started to look worn after a while and stopped.

"Good" Fye sniggered. "Now it's my turn." A sharp smile rest upon his features… it looked to knowing for what it should, he really didn't know anything at all, he was relying in instinct.

Fye hummed, magical characters gathered around Ashura and wrapped him tightly forming a case… if the king had tried to resist he was obviously failing because you could see nothing of him. The magic finally settled in the form of a glass case, Ashura sleeping inside of it.

"What a waste of time." Fye thought it was rather odd to just leave the king there, so he moved him to the central pool and pushed the restraining container in, Chi seemed to think it added nice effect, he simply thought it was a waste of time.

His heart ached, again he didn't know why exactly but he felt it must be something to do with the king… maybe he was wrong to kill him, but he really just didn't have the ability to sit and hear things explained quite yet. Being concerned in the slightest degree he undressed his top half and entered the pool. Swimming to the bottom to see if maybe the 'king' was still breathing, he didn't exactly realize what he was doing until he was half way there.

Looking closely he could see inside the container his highnesses chest was moving up and down, seems like he didn't put enough effort into the attack… he had only put him to sleep. Swimming back towards the surface he realized something, he couldn't live here. There was no life left on this world, and anyone lucky enough to be left would only want to kill him. At that moment a dark haired woman flashed in front of his eyes, before he continued to swim the word "Yuuko" escaped his lips, not that anyone could hear him. He had never seen the woman before in his life… but he knew her name and knew he needed to leave, he supposed it better to follow his gut now then wait for disaster later.

Reaching the surface he climbed out and began to dress while having a small conversation with Chi.

"Is it okay, if I change you for a bit." Well, she was made of his magic, it only made sense that he would be able to change her.

"Of course, Fye made chi after all."

And that was that, in seconds what was once a girl was made into a series of connected arches.

Absent mindedly Fye walked up to the side of the pool and uttered few meaningless words to the sleeping king. He picked up his staff and decided he needed to go. He wasn't really sure what exactly he was doing but he knew he didn't want to be there and every natural fiber of his being was telling his to go to that woman he had seen moments ago.

"Well, I'm off to see the witch!" The markings made with his staff in hand moved around him in a purple form, and like that he was gone from that frozen world.

…_**arrival **_

When he got there he seen there were already 3 other people among them, him having seen the witches face in his mind already knew which one she was. He introduced himself and enjoyed a few harsh glairs from the man dressed in black.

Mainly threw this little ordeal he was zoning in and out, he was aloof at best, catching only the main points. He knew that to avoid his world he would have to travel with the other people here and that their prices would combine as payment… that's actually all he really cared about, so long as he got his wish.

"Your price… is your marking."

My what? He thought in his head, then briefly remembered a symbol he had noticed creeping around his sides when he had gone in the water… He didn't know exactly what it meant to him but if the witch wanted it that meant it was probably of high value.

"I don't suppose this staff would do instead?" he held up the golden staff he had brought, it was of value… he knew that, but he also knew he could go on without it… this marking he knew nothing about.

"It won't."

"Then I suppose I have no choice."

The second it was lifted his whole world was flipped upside down, he managed to smile threw every memory flash though… no one could see the hidden pain he was calmly waiting threw. Everything came back to him in that instant… memories from as far back as 4 years of age all the way up until now, he even remembered the things he couldn't before. Only god knows why he didn't start crying right there realizing what he had done. But all the same he smiled; killing himself inside… he still smiled.

And that's where it all would have begun. Every little thing that made him Fye, a life time of hardship brought back within minuets… it's no wonder he was broken.

**Holy this is a long chapter, seriously I'm hyped up on pixie sticks right now so if anything in the chapter seems weird that's probably why.**

**Again, I'm sorry about the wait for these 2 chapters.**

**Thanks for reading, please review.**

**- KuroxFye**


	14. Chapter 14

**Title: Does it really matter?**

**Author: .KuroxFye.**

**Rating: T**

**Warning: … nothing really in this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Tsubasa or any of its characters.**

"No, I don't suppose you'd ever forget…" no, for once in his life Fye couldn't even conjure up fake hope. "But I've remembered, and I know something must come to an end."

"Ch…" the king scoffed. "You _remember _… as if that means anything now, It's not like you say that and it's all alright again."

Grasping his arm but steadying his stance. "Ashura o, I will not beg your forgiveness as I know it will never be granted but please, allow me to see something threw. Something that will give you this kingdom back, and rid your thoughts of me."

"No…" Kurogane's mouth moved before his mind had a chance to catch up.

Fye looked back at the towering ninja, trying to figure out what in the damned was going on behind the crimson eyes. But he knew better then to let this escalate. "Kurogane, please try and understand… this is not your place to have opinions."

Well that was straight forward; the warrior wasn't prepared to except that statement but he did know he should wait for them to at least semi work things out before interrupting.

Ashura's glare simmered on the muscular man. "So… is _that_ what you've been doing with yourself?" that was an obvious shot at the both of them. He gaze moved back to Fye. "You, I know can do better… but still it's _him_ I pity." His voice filled with dark humor, and he gave a low sympathetic laugh.

"It's not like that." Fye didn't like where Ashura had directed the conversation. He felt faint and had to get it all over with. "Ashura…" he dropped the title. "We have something in common again for the first time in so long. We both want me dead, I've come up with a way to do that which will restore Celes… please allow me to be the cause of my own fate."

"Fye, always poise and never without words. Elegant, deceiving and deadly. No matter what you're talking about you can make it sound in my favor, you always could." He thought of how they used to be. Fye was a royal at heart. "A true politician and my knowing that trait won't come without consequence."

"Please Ashura o, if it's not done soon it may never work." He hated that he could feel tears coming. "Besides… look at me, if you try and kill me now there's not enough of me to stop you, it's a wonder I haven't already died..." Okay, Fye knew that was a lie… even with only half the power and a bleeding arm he still had more then his king, especially with the tattoo removed. So he hoped looks would be deceiving.

The king examined his head to toe quickly. "What happened?" he was looking straight at the black cloth draped over that one empty socket. His voice almost could have passed off as concerned, it seems no matter what Fye did, Ashura would have a hard time seeing him as an enemy.

"Heh… a lot of things happened." It came out winded threw a sigh of relief. He didn't notice when the long haired man was suddenly right in front of him, tilting his chin upward to meet wide violet eyes.

"A…Ashura…?" Fye was puzzled, why was he not being lashed out at?

Ashura while maintaining eye contact with the wizard used a little healing magic emitted from his body and it sealed the seeping wound on his arm.

If Fye was _'puzzled' _the Kurogane was completely lost, from what he could tell this king of Fye's had no idea what he wanted… first to kill the blond, then to tease him… and now to heal him?

Ashura's features finally settled at a natural point. "Fye, you and I also know that I couldn't kill you even if I wanted to." He still held the blonds face up right. "Even if I had the power to I'm not sure I could now that you remember again. Anger doesn't even begin to explain how hateful I feel toward you for _what you did_ but… Friendship doesn't begin to describe how I feel about _who_ you are."

Well, that was a shocker… The slim man knew his king could be easily swayed from opinions but he had never seen him be so… upfront about anything, and it was only seconds ago that Ashura had wanted to take his life, that would make so much more sense. Fye took the hand from under his chin and pulled it down with his own, then dropped it.

"None of that will change what I've done. Let me go so I can do what I came to do."

Okay, Kurogane felt he was way over due for something to say. "Idiot, even when you're forgiven all you want to do is kill yourself." He hated the look the damn wizard shot him after the words were said.

"You… would never understand." He re gathered his coat, almost cretin no one would follow him. He took one long glide forward before being caught by the ninja's very large hand.

"You're right, I wouldn't because you would never tell me, but you should know better then this!"

"Know better then what!?" Somehow his voice managed to become frantic as he wiggled out of Kurogane's grasp. "I know what I'm doing… it's what I want, why can't you just let me be… how I want to be?"

It was to tense for any of their liking. Ashura after having examined the room and undoubtedly reading Fye's mind looked like he had some understanding, Fye looked like he was ready to boil over with tears and anger and Kurogane was in a slight panic… he didn't know what to say.

"Let him go…"

"What!?" Kurogane's head snapped towards the royal.

"I've known him a lot longer then you, spite what he may act like Fye never makes snap decisions, if this is what he is doing… then it's really what he wants, really this is what I should be supporting anyways, with the best intentions for Celes." He gave a sad smile, much like the one Fye would force.

Fye once again started to drift towards the door and was chanting some spell at the same time, Kurogane watched in awe like he had before when Fye left him to come here… and he'd be damned if he was letting that happen again…

**Long wait… sorry, I think it's coming into an end… 1,2,maybe 3 chapters left.**

**Yeah, see well I was getting angry about the long waits for chapters of stories I read here in fanfic, then I realized that I myself had kept you all waiting for like a month.**

**SO SORRY… again**

**- KuroxFye**


	15. Chapter 15

**Title: Does it really matter?**

**Author: .KuroxFye.**

**Rating: T**

**Warning: … nothing really in this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Tsubasa or any of its characters.**

_He'd be damned if he was letting that happen again…_

Yet he was, unable to move. Even as Kurogane watched Fye stagger past the pillars, threw this god forsaken maze of a palace and out of his sight. All he could do was wait still, it didn't seem as though he was under any magical spell but his legs, they just wouldn't work. 'Damn' he thought. 'Every time that damn mage uses magic I go on some mental trip! WAKE UP DAMMIT!' but it was a wasted effort, nothing was going to wake him any time soon from the stilled shock he was in.

Ashura simply bowed his head as the blond left the room. Maybe in prayer or out of respect, or maybe he was hurting too and didn't want his face be seen grieving over that fool of a wizard. He had to admit, the king seemed more loving towards the idiot then he had expected based on Fye's subtle descriptions. Kurogane while looking over the king had yet to realize the king was also staring back, and soon began to talk.

In a strangely calmed voice "I watched him break…" Ashura looked at Kurogane with regret.

"I watched him forget, panic, trust… but I did nothing to help. He was the highest mage in court, what some might call my friend and a lover. I watched him break and I enjoyed ever moment of it."

"you sick bast…" Kurogane was cut off by him.

"I ignored the problem until someone else finally tried to fix it for me, when that went wrong I still blamed him…for he is a fool." He paused… "But then what am I but the bigger fool, for having allowed it to progress like this, and allowing myself to fall victim to this one sided love."

Kurogane was no longer sure if the king was actually talking to him or to himself because it was all rather undirected. All he knew was that one day sooner or later he WOULD have this mans head on a platter. It was at that moment he heard the booming sound of large closing doors from where Fye had entered and now he was cut off.

"Idiot…"

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Fye bent over to place an elegant finger along the spell written in blood, he could still feel the powers surging threw it, it was not to late to do this task.

He had spent the last few days convincing himself this was right… he had to give himself credit, he was a pretty good liar, even fooling himself. He positioned himself in the center of the blood stained design and continued his quiet chanting. While keeping his poise he reflected, reflected on those he hurt, those he loved, held and rejected. He wished the best for Sakura chan and Sayoran kun, so that one day she would be whole and maybe remember her cretin someone again. He thought of Ashura and the thousands of others he betrayed by killing. He thought of Chi and her regrettable fate. Lastly he thought of Kurogane, the man who had un knowingly fallen for him. 'He would give up his life for me.' He thought, getting over the image of the black ninja was about the hardest obstacle he had had to over come… it didn't help that he had followed him there.

Minding what he was doing he noted to himself that once he was gone none of them would remember him anyways, it would be as if he never existed and everything was bound to be better. On that last note he vanished, fading into the fog that surrounded him, it was time to change history.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

In the distance he could see a young boy, a blond boy of about 5 years of age. He was so light it was hard to tell him from the snow. Fye pulled his hood down over his shoulders and took long strides towards the child, pausing about a foot away.

Well here goes nothing… I'd say a life time wasted but this way technically that life never had time to begin. Even with the re assuring thought his eyes still watered, but something as insignificant as simple tears spilt weren't going to stop him now.

Taking that last step forward he crouched down beside his crying younger self.

"Hello" he colored his tone, last thing he needed was a giant scene.

The little blond looked at him cautiously, probably wondering why someone would be so stupid as to get that close to him.

"Who…who are you?" The child asked.

With a smile, the last one he'd ever give he answered. "I'm the end."

The end to a beginning that never should have been. With that he released his powers, focused them all on his younger self intent on a clean kill, leaving nothing. The power overwhelmed the both of them and the blinding light over took them.

_They were gone._

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

_And it was as the mage suspected, life without his existence had cleared the air. Celes was a land of power and prosperity .People working in time with one another to build the strongest city yet. Another high mage, one of more appropriate age had taken the position and while his magic couldn't compare to that of Fye's he was a good man. Ashura was king as always, still a corrupt ruler but a decent one at least, with eye for his people over all._

_However not all stories can have a happy ending when such differences are created. In the library world, where they had escaped due to Fye and his magic there were instead great consequences. They had managed to figure out how to get the feather just as they had in the previous time except it took longer, with way more miss hit ideas. While escaping the road turned to water… or so they though. Without thinking anything of the water Sayoran was ready to swim across and eagerly made the first jump, presumably to help Kurogane lower Sakura in but it was no more then 2 seconds and he was dead, burnt alive by the magical boundary._

_Kurogane, Sakura and Mokona spent 3 years in that world working off their charge. She never did get that feather._

_5 years later Kurogane would find his home. The first thing he discovered was that Tomoyo had replaced him quite some time ago. The man in his former position didn't even look like a warrior, with flaxen hair and crystal blue eyes… he looked more like one of Tomoyo's dress up buddies._

_Sakura decided she would stay in Nihon with Kurogane, he was the closest thing she had to family by any means. Kurogane didn't have any objections to that and Tomoyo seemed to take Sakura under her wing right off that bat._

_Now all he had to do was get his position back, so the first step was to beat the crap out of this new guy._

"_Oi!" he yelled at the girly looking guard._

"_Hm" the blond man looked back, his slim frame swaying slightly._

_Looking the man over. "What's your name?"_

_The other smiled. "My name if Fye, I believe it's your guard position I've taken correct."_

"_Good, you already know… so you'll understand why I need to beat you to a pulp."_

"_That's if you can catch me…" and the childish blond actually made a run for it._

_Kurogane ran after him with sword in hand ready to prove his rightful place at the princesses side, but the man was right… first he'd have to catch him and that could take some time._

_As the story goes Hitsuzen is the answer to all, meeting is unavoidable regardless of the circumstances. Everything is determined by a set of cretin events, this can not be changed only drawn out. For the two star crossed lovers would be bound to meet either way, it's a new beginning, hope and encouragement to them all._

_But if all was meant to be… did it really matter?_

**Wow, this ended nothing like how I had it planned.**

**Well there you go, I had a super long wait and now I doubt anyone will read it…. XP**

**Anyways, THANKS to anyone who reviewed of enjoyed the story, it was fun writing.**

**Arigato**

**-KuroxFye**


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